Scamming the Scammers, Part II

The house has THREE liquor chifferobes?! It really is too good to be true!

(214): How are you doing today? did you forward your Deposit becos they are people also interested in the house

(214): Are you able to send your deposit...They are other people that is up for the house
(678): Good morning! Before I submit my deposit, could you email me a pic of the liquor chifferone? You said the house has 1. I need to know it's big enough for us 3.

(214): Do you mean the Liquor chifferobe...

(678): Yes, that's what I mean. You're so sweet! I'll check my email for your pic.

(214): Good...we will be happy to receive you and your nfamily as our guest

(214): Please check your email now

(214): We will be happy to receive you as our guest(214): It will be ncie to have you as our guest

(214): Did you get it?

Email attachment:

(678): I did receive it. Thank you! It has a lovely distressede finish, but I don't think it's large enough for our purpose. Plus, I don't think it's a certified chifferobe. You should contact your dealer. But thank you so much for all your help. We'll have to decline.

(214): we have two of it let me send you the second one

(214): Let me send the second one...we have about 3 in the house

(678): Are you at the house now?

(214): yeah...i am at the house now...We already have you reserved...that is why we declined whosoever booked the house

(678): Oh, that was so kind of you to do

(678): Can you see Cuba today? Is the weather clear enough?

(214): You will be such a nice person

(214): Thanks...
(214): Yeah...sure

(214): All you need to get the house reserved is to get your deposit paid and your date will be reserved successfully.

(214): We will be happy to have you as our guest

(214): You will enjoy the house and its facilities

Scamming the Scammers

I believe in justice. No, I'm not going to go all renegade Bruce Wayne, but if I can make life a little more inconvenient for people who are clearly doing wrong...well, it's on like Donkey Kong.

Take this for instance.

My Oregonian family and I had contemplated taking a trip to the Florida Keys over the holidays. Although we eventually decided against it, I had done a preliminary search for available condos. Mind you, it's the holidays in south Florida. You're lucky if you can find a condemned hovel on wheels for less than $800 a week. So when I found this 3-bedroom renovated condo in Key West, available immediately, for $150 a night....I was suspicious. It's like a dream come true plus a Cabana boy.

Well, I called the number and left an inquiry anyway. They responded via text at 4:30am. Jerks.

Later in the morning I did a 10-minute Google search of the address (and if you're Googling for more than 1 minute, then whatever you're looking for is legitimately difficult to find).

Sure enough, it's a scam. Some jerk overseas with a google voice account has you fill out a fake contract and submit your deposit via paypal. Then it disappears forever into the internet ether. This guy is stealing people's hard earned Holiday vacations! DURING CHRISTMAS. Nobody messes with Christmas on my watch. Now, I can't catch this guy. I can't get their money back. But I can....waste an enormous amount of his time.

Let the text war begin.

*DISCLAIMER

1) For the record, neither I nor my family (despite being from the very green state of Oregon) are smokers

2) I don't actually own a pot-belly pig, so don't worry. My candles and throw pillows are fine.

3) If you want this guy's number, I'd be happy to give it to you.

4) All misspellings and weird capitalizations are true to the original. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand half of the stuff I was asking him.

(214): I just sent you the information you will need abt the house

(678): Thank you very much!

(214): hURRY NOW AND MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS

(214): ITS XMAS SEASON...OTHER PEOPLE ARE UP FOR THE HOUSE

(678): Can you tell me what the weekly and nightly rates are?

(214): WHAT'S YOUR RESERVATION LIKE?? SO I CAN GET THE ESTIMATIONS TO YOU ANS THE COST

(214): INCLUDING THE PAYMENT METHOD

(678): We are interested in Dec 28-Jan 1st. We can pay by check, cash, or online payment. We're flexible. :)

(214): Thanks and happy booking We will be happy to receive you as our guest

(678): Ok, well, I need a rate before I book anything. Lol.

(214): let me get the estimations to you

(678): Thank you! :) I appreciate your help on such short notice.

(214): its 150 per night

(214): do i still need to send you the terms and conditions

(214): Are you interested

(678): Sure, thank you. I am very interested. I have to confirm with my family in Oregon.

(214): I just send it to you now...please try and check your email now

(214): No problem at all...You are welcome

(678): is it Flemming St or Fleming St with 1 m? I'm google mapping the house for a street view. :)

(214): Flemming St

(214): Hurry now and make your reservations

(678): Also, do you accept pets? We have a pot-belly pig. She is housetrained and crate trained. Very sweet.

(214): are you coming with a pet? and if you do they is much space for that hope is a clean dog though

(678): It's a pot belly pig. Much cleaner than a dog. Also, how tolerant are the neighbors of smoke? Like, outside. We wouldn't smoke inside, obviously.

(214): Are many people is occupying the house...will like to know

(678): 3 adults. Me and my parents. We are low key. Not party people. We just like to smoke together, if you know what I mean. They're from Oregon, haha, amiright?

(214): No problem about that...how do you want to go about your deposit so i can get a receipt issued to you immediately

(678): Sometimes the pot belly joins in too. Hahaha. We can put her mattress outside if she's a problem.

(678): Deposit, sure. Can you accept cash? I'm in Miami now, it would be easy for me to skip down there. Avoid those paypal fees.

(214): i sent you the estimations of the unit

(678): Is there a liquor chifferobe?

(214): Yeah sure...

(214): i wrote it in the mail that We Accept Payment via Paypal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): So we can get you reserved ASAP

(214): We prefer you use western union or money tram if you don't want to use paypal

(678): What about payment in-kind? I mentioned that I smoke...

(214): You will need a lease agreement...can i send you that now

(214): no problem...but we dont want the house to be dirty...

(678): Oh, no. We are very clean. We bathe every day mostly.

(214): no problem about the smoking

(214): The house is very spacious

(678): Sure. Can you send directions on how to use the pool? Can the pot belly go in the pool? We all love to swim.

(214): once the deposit has been made...the Lease agreement and terms and condition will be send to you ASAP

(214): Thanks...amd it will be glad to receive you as out guest

(678): Question. How far is Cuba from the house? Is it close enough for a day trip?

(214): Which one do you prefer. PayPal, Money Fram, Western union money transfer

(214): its is not that far...will you be coming from cuba

(678): Yes, we're from Miami

(214): its not far...when are you making your reservations? so we can get you reserved

(214): will be there personally to hand over the keys to the house to you

(678) Dec 28-1st. In time for the Cuban New Year. Yay! Can't wait!

(214): because some other people are up for the house

(214): Hurry up and make your reservations

(678): Ok, I'll work on the paperwork as soon as I talk to my family. Have to feed the pot belly pig too. She's snorting at me. Haha! Silly pig. Thank you!

(214): Let me send the lease agreement to you. Thanks and Merry Xmas in advance

(678): Thank you, Happy Kwanza!

(214): please check your email its has been sent to you

Some hours later....

(214): Are you still interested in the house?

(678): I've been busy, haven't had a chance to decide. I had to take the pot belly to the emergency vet. She ate 3 throw pillows and a decorative pillar candle. Ugh!

(214): let us know what is happening...So we can get you reserved in time

(678): Can you remove the pillar candles from the house?

(214): yeah...why?

(678): Well, don't want another emergency trip to the vet. :(

(214): okay then...So when are you making your reservation

(678) Dec 28-Jan 1

(214): yeah...i got the estimations to you...we are waiting to make your deposit paid and we get your receipt to you ASAP

(214): We Accept PayPal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): which one do you prefer

(678): Will you accept Cuba Libre Bank Online Billpay?

(214): we gave you the payment we prefer...that is the terms and condition applied

(214): Are you booking...i think western union money transfer will be ok

(678): Oh, ok. I'm so sorry. Paypal is fine. Sure I can't just give you my bank account info and do a transfer?

(214): Let me text you our payment officer Paypal email address and get you the deposit there and a receipt will be issued to you immediately...Happy booking

(214): Forward to [email address removed to protect the guilty]

(678): Thank you! I'll work on it tonight. I'm at work now. Have to empty this executive liquor chifferobe by the end of the day or my boss will surely fire me. :(

(214): Once the Fund has been made...Just forward the confirmation from paypay and get back y=to us

(214): We will be happy to receive you and Your family as our guest

This went on for many highly enjoyable hours. I'm sure there will be more. Stay tuned.

Starting out strong

This week is going much better.
Monday I pulled out the trusty old Kenpo X video, and had a nice little kickboxing session. Then I promptly made shepherd's pie and pretzel caramels. But don't worry. The shepherd's pie was actually a lower calorie variation, at only about 350 calories a serving. With this cold weather, I needed a little comfort food. As for the pretzel caramels, well, I had a few. OK, 3 or 4. But I had purposely eaten light all day, knowing they were on the docket for the evening.

I took the day off on Tuesday to address the calamitous condition of my domestic affairs. That is, I had a lot of laundry and cleaning and tidying to do when I got home.

Today I went to the gym to teach the "Back to Abs" class and then jumped on the stairmaster for 30 min. So double check off my list.

I've been pretty good about eating well. I hit around 1700 yesterday, but considering the sheer length of the day (Lawd, it was a day), I won't be too hard on myself. I'm going to be on my best behavior the next few days because I anticipate having thousands of extra calories at the 2011 Highlands Club Holiday Pub Crawl. See you there.

It sucks being a grown-up

It's been a very busy week. I've had career information sessions, an interview, late nights at work, late nights at the brewery, long days working at the barn...I'm making excuses, really. It's Saturday, and I've barely made a dent in my list.

However, when I've been able to work out, I've done well. I did a solid upper body workout while watching Grimm on demand the other night (love that show), and then I taught a really intense spin class at 6:30am on Friday. Today I taught horseback riding lessons from 9-2, so I'm just going to go ahead and count that as a cardio session. Lol, it's walking and yelling, lifting heavy poles and running about the ring. If that's not exercise, then I don't know what it.

As for my pseudo-diet, it's been hit or miss. I did great Monday through Wed, actually staying well below 1500 calories. Then Stephanie forced beer down my throat at ABC on Thursday (it's all her fault). On Friday, I decided to bake these oatmeal fudge bars I've been dreaming about. Stephanie was not present, so I can't blame that on her. Maybe I will anyway. It's all your fault, Stephanie.
I have no idea where my calorie count is today, but I worked at the barn straight from 9-2 with only a granola bar and a few tangerines, and I managed to only eat 4 or 5 (or was it 5 or 6) of those oatmeal fudge bars when I got home....yeah, who am I kidding? Today is blown because of those fudge bars. Lol. Luckily, I am going to my mom's house, so I can pawn them off on her. Does putting up Xmas decorations count as a cardio workout?

I did manage to have the most incredible steak last night. I tired a dry spice rub featuring, of all things, instant coffee powder. And it was de-freakin-licious. Skirt and flank steak can go oh-so wrong oh-so easily, despite how simple it is to cook. I've collected a lot of tasty marinades for flank streak over the years, but I've never tried a dry rub. Boy, am I glad I did. I had also bought some mango pico de gallo (in the salad section at Walmart), which I ate over some romaine with light berry vinaigrette. I was very happy at the dinner table.

COFFEE RUBBED STEAK - I pulled the recipe out of the latest Food Network Magazine (which you should really buy!). The flavor reminds me of mole sauce. It's dark and rich, but the brown sugar gives it a caramelized sweetness. Niiiiice. Best of all, the entire process took 15 min. The original recipe actually called for sauteing sliced onions and peppers with a little lime juice in the drippings, which would probably have blown my fragile mind had I tried it.
- 2 Tb packed light brown sugar
- 1 Tb instant coffee
- 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp mustard powder
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/8 tsp cinnamon
- salt
- 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 lb skirt steak, cut in half if necessary
- ~1 Tb vegetable oil

1. If your steak seems tough, wrap in saran wrap and lightly beat the shit out of it with a mallet. But don't tenderize it flat. It's gotta go to church in the mornin', and you don't want nobody askin' no questions.
2. Thoroughly combine first 6 ingredients and 1 tsp salt.
3. Lightly season steak with more salt, then thoroughly rub the spice mixture into both sides of the steak.
4. Heat oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Sear steak, 3-6 min per side for medium rare.
5. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest a few min before slicing.

Back in Black Capris

So after a fall fitness season totally destroyed by interviews, work, over-eating and injury...I'm back, bitches. Today I put on my favorite black capri pants to teach spin class. No surprise, they don't fit so well. Quite frankly, considering my diet and schedule, it's amazing they fit at all. Nonetheless, it's time to get back in shape.

Emergency Measure #1: Calorie Cuts
Hi, my name is Kelly, and I'm a calorie counter. It's not out of a paranoid need to track everything that goes into my body. It's just that when I keep track of my caloric intake, it makes me feel accountable for my food choices. It also makes me more aware of what and how much I'm eating. And going into a season of over-indulgence, well, awareness is critical.
So. I'm going to keep it to a (rather conservative) 1500 calories per day. That gives me room for that much-needed mid-afternoon cookie, but I can still drop a few pounds a week at that rate.

Emergency Measure #2: Fitness Regimen
Honestly? I've gotten bored with my workouts. On top of that, it's dark when I leave work, which makes me want to go home and curl up with a smutty book rather than destroy the free weights. Also, my Christmas tree is so pretty - I just want to sit and stare at it. And I need to wash my hair and balance my checkbook.
This is ridiculous. Mind over matter, homies. Time to make myself exercise. And seeing how much I love lists (and the satisfaction of crossing things off a list), I'm going to make a list of fitness sessions that I must complete each week. Doesn't matter when or what order I do them in, so long as they get done.

I don't want to over-extend myself, so this is my plan for now.

The Magical Fruit

Without conjuring any dirty rhymes, I'll just say that beans are awesome. They're particularly awesome on South Beach Diet, where it's very hard to find foods that are genuinely filling.

GREEN CHICKEN CHILI - This recipe is actually one that I frequently make anyway, and just happens to be South Beach-friendly. It has a bright flavor with a bit of kick, and best of all, is super-healthy without sacrificing any flavor.
- 3 lb bone-in, skin-on split chicken breasts
- vegetable oil
- salt and pepper
- 3 poblano peppers
- 3 Anaheim peppers
- 2 jalapeno peppers
- 2 onions, chopped
- 6 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 Tb ground cumin
- 1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
- 2 (15 oz) cans cannelini beans (white kidney beans), drained & rinsed
- 32 oz low-sodium chicken broth
- 1/4 C fresh cilantro, minced
- 4 scallions, sliced thin
-3 Tb fresh lime juice

1. Season chicken with salt and peppers. Heat 2 Tb oil in a large French oven or stock pot over medium-high heat. Brown chicken, skin side down, until deep golden, ~ 6 min. Set aside. Remove skins.
2. In batches, pulse chilies in a food processor to consistency of chunky salsa.
3. Add 1 tb oil to pot. Add chilies, onions, garlic, cumin, coriander, and 1 tsp salt. Cook, stirring often, until veggies are softened, ~10 min.
4. Transfer 1 C of cooked veggies mixture to food processor. Add 1 C beans and 1 C broth. Process until smooth. Return to pot.
5. Add remaining 3 C broth. Return chicken to pot. Cover & simmer until chicken registers 160 degrees F, 10-15 min. Remove chicken and shred it.
6. Stir in remaining beans. Simmer until heated through, ~5 min.
7. Stir in shredded chicken. Summer until thickened, ~15 min.
8. Stir in cilantro, scallions, & lime juice. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

FAUX BROWNIES - Yes, I said it. Fake brownies. No flour, no sugar, no chocolate chips. Just moist, chocolaty, nutty goodness. Do they taste as good as real brownies? Hello no! But you know what, they're a welcome bit of chocolate and fluffiness in an otherwise barren menu of veggies and meats. The original recipe called for olive oil, which lended a decidedly unpleasant flavor of minerals, or Italy, or something weird and unwanted. I figured 2 Tb of butter weren't going to kill me.
- 1 can (15.5 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 4 large eggs
- 2 Tb melted unsalted butter
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 C Splenda
- 3 Tb unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- chopped walnuts or pecans

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease an 8x8" baking pan.
2. In a blender or food processor, combine the beans, eggs, butter, vanilla, Splenda, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt. Process until smooth.
3. Scrape the batter into the pan. Sprinkle nuts on top. Bake for 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Serve warm with Faux Whipped Topping.










FAUX WHIPPED TOPPING - I've become a stark raving fan of Greek yogurt. Buyer beware: different brands have decidedly different qualities. So far, Chobani is my favorite, but Kroger also makes a thick, delicious Greek yogurt. Surprisingly, the "Greek" brand was absolutely terrible.
- Big healthy dollop of plain, nonfat Greek yogurt
- Splenda to taste
- Vanilla extract to taste

1. Just mix it all together, and spoon onto your Faux Brownie. Then smile at all the calories, fat, and carbs you've cut.

Grocery List

Wondering what kinds of foods I can eat on South Beach? Well, it changes. The Diet consists of 3 phases:

1. Phase I - Super Strict. Lean meats, vegetables, and low-fat dairy are permitted, but any carbohydrates and sugars are out of the question. So no bread, pasta, starchy veggies, or fruits. Cookies? Psh, fuh-get about it. Life is tough. Luckily, Phase I only lasts 2 weeks, although I'm aiming for 12 days.
2. Phase II - We get some of the good stuff back. Natural sugars and complex carbohydrates are now OK, so we can eat fresh fruit and whole grains.
3. Phase III - This is the life phase. Pretty much anything goes, so long as it doesn't undo everything you've worked for in the previous 2 phases.

Now to share my grocery list for Phase I. Recipes coming soon!

VEGGIES:
Celery
Cherry Tomatoes
Large tomatoes
Snap Peas
Red & Green Bell Peppers
Poblano Peppers
Anaheim Peppers
Jalapeno Peppers
Romaine
Scallions
Jicama
Ginger
Garlic
Basil
Cilantro
Cannellini Beans
Frozen Artichoke Hearts
Frozen Spinach

MEAT
Canadian Bacon
Turkey Deli Meat
Flank Steak
Split Chicken Breasts

DAIRY:
Cheddar - low fat
Colby - low fat
Muenster slices
Blue cheese - low fat, crumbled
Ricotta - low fat
Cottage Cheese - nonfat
Greek yogurt - nonfat plain
string cheese - part skim
Laughing Cow Light Cheese Spread
Skim Milk
Eggs
Egg Beaters (egg substitute)

MISC
Water Chestnuts
Peanuts
Pistachios
Chicken Broth (LOTS of it)

LIFE-SAVERS
Splenda
Sugar Free Jello
Fudgesicles - no sugar added
Sugar Free Soda (something with caffeine)
Diet Snapple Peach Tea (OMG, can't live without it)
Crystal Light
Sugar Free Gum

South Beach Diet: the Glycemic Index and other pseudo-science mumbo jumbo

You might remember the big South Beach Diet fad of the mid-2000's. Thrown in the lot with other "low-carb" diets like Atkins, I think a lot of people really abused it as a crash diet or misunderstood what South Beach is all about. I'll try to clarify.

South Beach is not truly a low-carb diet. Yes, for the first phase, you must cut out carbs completely. But hey, you get them back after only a few weeks.
The diet is actually about the "Glycemic Index", a measurement of how a food affects your blood sugar. For example, a potato is about as bad as it gets. With a Glycemic Index of 158, it's going to hit your blood sugar like a slug to your chest ("Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex"..nothing? Tupac? Common people). What I mean is, you're going to get a sharp blood sugar spike. The downside? That spike is followed by a sharp drop-off, and pretty soon you're tired and hungry again. It simply doesn't stick with you.

You know how it feels. You eat that packet of skittles, and within an hour you're not only coming down off your sugar high, but you're also starving.

A diet rich in simple sugars and "bad" carbohydrates (like those in the evil potato) is going to result in oscillating blood sugar. Up and down, where the ups are periods of high energy followed by deep valleys of lethargy and hunger. Furthermore, your body isn't making use of its reserves of fat. In fact, what with all that excess blood sugar, your body just packs it away. No bueno.

Enter the South Beach Diet. It's all about regulating blood sugar and "teaching" your body to process its food wisely. To do so, we first eat foods with low glycemic indexes. If we choose to eat a food with a higher glycemic index, we pair it with an oil or healthy fat to slow digestion. It's all an effort to prolong the release of that energy and prevent a blood sugar spike.

That's the theory anyway. Is it scientifically accurate? Eh, to a point. There's no way you can convince me that throwing some sour cream on your baked potato will actually make it healthier, because you're slowing its digestion with that dairy fat. But largely it makes sense.

I also know that it works for me. After a few days (at least after the initial blood sugar fall out, more on that later), I feel better and have better, long-lasting energy. The weight loss isn't usually drastic for me - about 5 pounds - but the difference in how I feel is remarkable. Which is just fine. I only want to drop that 5 pounds of pizza and ice cream I packed on during final exams, and mostly want to reclaim that all-day stamina I used to have.

Prepping for South Beach

The fridge is stocked. Operation Cookie Monster commences tomorrow.

Birthday/Graduation Weekend

I had so much fun this weekend. Between shouting "Mothaf***in' snakes on a mothaf***in' plane!" at the movie screen and basically chugging my last Four Loko...well, it was fun, girls.

So I'll just summarize.

BEFORE:















AFTER:















You're welcome.

OMG, I need an intervention

Dinner: Entenmann's black & white cookies, coconut M&Ms, and probably an enormous helping of yesterday's homemade chicken n' dumplins. Uh oh.

I need help. I don't even want to know what kind of weight I've put on in the past 2 weeks. Between the idle lifestyle of final exams and uninhibited froyo & cookie binging...well, surely it's significant. So after one weekend of outrageous shenanigans (I am not responsible for anything I say or do between now and Monday, ok?), I'ma start taking care of myself again. Why wait until next week? Cuz it's my burfday! And my graduationz! I'd be crazy not to party. So, hello, Four Loko.


That's my cousin, Eric. He's a pilot in the air force and an all-around badass. If my birthday/graduation weekend is half this epic, I'll be proud.

Starting Monday, it's back to real life. I have a 2-prong attack. Let's call it Operation Cookie Monster.

1) South Beach Diet. I've been a long-time proponent of South Beach. It's not for every one - if you love your carbs, it's not for you. However, my diet usually centers around lean meats and fruits anyway. So cutting out the fruit and replacing it with fresh veggies is no biggie. It also forces me to abandon the sweets, which is my achilles heal, and flesh out my meals with lean protein and fresh produce. I feel better, my skin clears up, and it gets me back on track eating right. It also gets the cookie cravings under control. Mmm...cookies.

2) Weights. The CRC closes for a week for repairs. Oh, no! Actually, maybe that's not so bad. Admittedly, the first week of South Beach diet is a challenge. You don't have those carbs to power you, so your energy is low and it'd be really difficult to get through a high-intensity cardio workout. You also have to be careful to not drop muscle on South Beach. Instead of my usual cardio/toning combination, I'm going to be do weight-focused workouts from home. This way I can combat that muscle loss while avoiding the cardio exhaustion.

Somewhat Lazy Sunday

Wow, what a great day. I slept until...wait for it...1 o'clock. Then I moved all my books, knick knacks and clothes into my new Ikea dresser and book case. Look, aren't they beautiful? Isn't Isaac the best for helping me pick them up?


Then I skipped on over to the gym and put down an awesome workout. I walked 1 mile on an ever-increasing incline, up to 10%. Then I leveled it back out and jogged a mile. Then I alternated 30 second sprints with 1 minute jogs for another 1.5 miles. I wasn't really too winded, but I really enjoyed doing it.
After that treadmill session, I did a back/arms & shoulders/abs workout. I just kept circulating between the assisted pull-up machine, the weights station and the mats.
All told, I was at the gym for about 2 hours.
I was also starving. At home I blended a banana-peach protein shake while I mixed up a lemon-dijon marinade for a skirt steak. Let it marinate for about 40 min while I showered and cleaned up, then seared that slab-o-meat in my French oven. With a little walnut & spinach salad...delicious!
Did I get any studying done today? Well, no. But it was worth it.

Still 2 weeks left, remember?

That'll teach me to check out early. I did a fantastically mediocre job on my cell bio test today, after putting in a equally mediocre study effort. After all, I've scored a 111 and a 107 on the last 2 tests, so this one? Ehhhhh, whateverrrrr. Well, that'll teach me. The professor went over the test immediately after we all turned it in, and I kept thinking "Huh, missed that one. That one too. Well, at least I got the next one right - oops, spoke too soon." I'd say I learned my lesson, but it's the last test I'll ever take in my regular season college career, so who cares?
Sadly, I do still have finals. You know, the semester post-season.

After shrugging off my poor test performance, I tootled over to the gym. I had an hour and a half to burn before spin class, so I went a little crazy on the weights. Arms & Shoulders, yeeeeeaaaah buddy.

I've also discovered my new favorite machine: The assisted chin/pull-up machine. I'm not quite strong enough to do a chin-up or pull-up by myself (which is maddening), so this machine is a fantastic place to start. It provides a weighted platform that you kneel on, so you don't have to lift your full body weight. Brilliant! I'm a big fan. I've had my eye on it for a while, but finally got the gumption to approach it this week. Yay for checking off "Something New" from my weekly progress menu!
Right now, it's the main focus of the "back" portion of my Back & Legs workout, but I'm also going to incorporate it into Arms & Shoulders. With enough work, I might be able to work up to a chin-up or pull-up all by myself! Imagine that.

Dog & Pony Show, No Dogs Allowed

Here's a short video of Tucker and me doing the really big jumps. Actually, they're tiny, but he's so much fun, that I enjoy doing just about anything with him! We were at a clinic with Don Stewart, a very successful and famous trainer. Mr. Stewart gave us this exercise to practice extending and shortening our horse's stride - it was awesome!

Hell Week

This week marks my last truly bad week of studying, because I fear not Finals Week. No seriously, Finals Week is manageable. For one, the tests are cumulative, so I already know it. Two, I have an entire week prior to prepare, without any assignments are other irritating interruptions. Three, there's that light at the end of the tunnel that always powers me through. So yeah, Finals Week? Eff you, Finals Week. You don't know me! You. Don't. Know. Me. What!
But like I said, this week was bad. Even though I only had two exams and one homework assignment (well, one monster homework assignment), I had a hard time fitting it in between my two part-time jobs, doctor's appointments, job searches, etc. Too many things going on. But now it's done.
Well, almost done. I'm looking over at my Weekly Progress menu and thinking to myself, "Self, you're a fat slacker. You've still got 2 cardio workouts and 2 toning workouts and that Yoga X that you love so much. Oh, and two days to do it in."

BRING IT

Cramping My Style

For the first time ever, I cramped up in spin class tonight. And in the oddest place: my abs.

I am actually "team teaching" in my Cycle Abs class, which basically means I'm training a new instructor. She's awesome and she's an Alpha Gam, which you know, makes her double awesome. Anyway, my little padawan taught the second half of class today, and she started off with a bang: sprints. She alternated 30-second sprints with 1 min recoveries, for a total of 6 sprints.
Now, I've worked really hard to improve my sprinting game, because I used to be a straight hill climber. I couldn't hold a 10 second sprint to save my life. But with weeks of speed interval training on the bike, road, and stairmaster last spring, I actually turned it around. At one point, I found that I couldn't climb hills well anymore, but could hold a flat-out, fly-til-I-die sprint for, well, a helluva lot longer than 30 seconds. Totally unnecessary, so I backed off a bit on the speed training. And apparently I've lost my touch again. By today's 4th sprint, I was huddled over the bike, gritting out my sprints. Rather than pushing my legs, I was tensing my whole body and core to power through the dash. Voila! Core cramping. Time to get back to the speed training.

Which leads me to what my "Sprint Session" is:
30 sec spring
1 min recovery
...for 15 minutes, for a total of 10 sprints.

You can do this on the bike, stairmaster, or road. The treadmill doesn't work great because it has a long response time when you alter the speed, but it can be done. This is a killer workout, and will totally alter your speed capability within a few weeks.

I don't like it when people say, "I've never been a sprinter". Well, neither was I! I also used to think I would always be the slow and deliberate tortoise. I'll probably never wear the green jersey in Le Tour, but with a little simple tweaking to my cardio regimen, at least I'm not doomed to wear those awful polka dots forever.

Although they're kinda cute in sock form...

Full of Femenine Rage

Whoa, buddy, was I on a rampage today. I'm not a moody kinda lady, but you know you're barely penning in your rage and exhaustion when you have this conversation with your professor (who also happens to be a graduate department bigwig):

Professor: "Well, I'm afraid that's my grading policy."
Me: "Well, that's a crappy policy."

Yikes.
Put that bizatch on a leash, Kelly.
It's time I reevaluate my fitness schedule, because I clearly need to vent some negative energy. Right now I'm just fitting in workouts whenever I can, and I end up doing whatever I feel like. I've lost all structure in order to accommodate my hectic academic and teaching schedule. I basically can't say, "Monday I do this, Tuesday I do that" anymore, because my schedule is drastically different every week.
Instead, I'm going to make a list of workouts I need to do each week. Doesn't matter when I do them, so long as they get done. Heck, I could knock them all out by Wednesday and spend the rest of the week drinking all this wine left over from Wine Club.

Here's what I'd like to do:

• 2 Indoor Cycling Sessions (teaching counts)
• 1 3-mile run or Cardio X DVD
• 1 sprinting session (will describe later)
  
• Legs & Back toning
• Arms & Shoulders toning
• 2 Ab Ribber sessions
• Yoga X DVD

That gives me 4 cardio, 2 weight-lifting, 2 core and 1 yoga session. I think this is do-able. And if not, then at least I know what will fall through the cracks (*cough* Yoga X *cough*). I'ma give this a whirl for the next few weeks.

In case you're wondering, I did get points back from my professor. But I think he was just afraid of the blazing fire in my eyes.

Make me wine.

Per request, Melon Mint Sangria. Although I've added a little extra booz to this punch, I got the original recipe from Everyday Food by Martha Stewart, one of my most favoritest cooking mags. It's small, but mighty. Enjoy.

MELON MINT SANGRIA
1/2 honeydew melon, balled or chopped into 1" cubes
1 lb cantaloupe, balled or chopped into 1" cubes
1 lb seedles watermelon, cut into 1" pieces
3/4 C fresh mint leaves
1 bottle cheap Sauvignon Blanc
1/4 to 1/2 C melon flavored vodka or melon schnapps
1 L ginger ale, chilled

Stir together everything except the ginger ale. Refrigerate at least 2 hours.
To serve, stir in ginger ale. Serve with ice on the side.

Workout Buddies!

This morning I woke up bright an early for a 6am workout with Rebecca. It was so nice to have a workout buddy, because working out at home can be awful lonely. If you see Rebecca, tell her she's a badass. She and I knocked out an hour-long, boot camp style workout with a strong emphasis on lower body strength and cardiovascular fitness. This might become a regular thing, because I had a blast!

We started out with a brief warm up followed by about 15 minutes of warrior yoga. Here's the sequence that we did, with a vinyasa between each pose:
Sun Salutations
Runner's Pose
Crescent Pose
Warrior I
Warrior II + Reverse Warrior
Triangle Pose

I gotta hand it to p90x for turning me on to doing Yoga at the beginning of a workout. I used to use it as a post-workout stretch, but doing a fluid set of vinyasa-based poses is an awesome way to get the blood pumping. And doing it at 6am was surprisingly nice. As we did reverse warrior pose, I got to look up through the branches of Rebecca's big tire swing tree and appreciate the first bit of morning light. Very peaceful and empowering!

After yoga,we did running drills with push-ups, plyometric squats, core exercises, and walking planks. Right about that time I was attacked by a swarm of killer bees. OK, it was actually just two yellow jackets (who were apparently not morning people) and I received a parting gift of a sting to the eyebrow and the shoulder. Nothing that some benedryl and a nap didn't fix. Stupid bees.

Nonetheless, I soldiered on. After migrating to the deck, we did a 10 minute "Cardio Meltdown". This was basically a p90x-inspired plyometrics practice, with lots of jumping, turning, squatting, and generally just a lot of moving around. I was definitely sweating hard!

So, here's the summary:
Warm-Up
Warrior Yoga
Running & Toning Drills
Plyometric Cardio Meltdown
Cool Down/ Stretch

The Darnedest Things

So I work part-time as a riding instructor at Chastain Equestrian Center. Mostly I teach beginners, and sometimes they say the darnedest things.

Today I was teaching a 4 year-old girl that when you're tending to a horse's feet, you have to squat down instead of kneel on the ground. You can't stand quickly if you're kneeling, so it's not safe. Her mother then says, "It's nice that you teach them early on to not get on their knees". All I could manage to say was, "You had to take it there, huh?"

Earlier in the lesson, that same little girl had remarked on a horse who was doing his business. She expertly stated, "Hey, that pony pooped." I replied, "Yup, everybody poops". She then chose to loudly proclaim, "EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD POOPS!". Pretty sure every one in the vicinity heard it. I hope they all paused and meditated on it for a moment.

I love my job.

It's like a sauna in here, huh?

Goodness me, it's been almost 2 weeks since my last post. In my defense, it's been a jam-packed 2 weeks. I had my first round of exams, a bunch of assignments, a field project, mild tonsillitis and a horseback riding clinic on top of my class time and two part-time jobs. Alpha Whiskey Foxtrot! Now my schedule will go back to it's usual busy and tonsillitis-free routine. That means I got to actually put in a real workout today.

HOT RUN
Some people do hot yoga. I do hot runs. There are few things so thoroughly cleansing as going out for a run when it's about 95 degrees with sauna-esque humidity. You will sweat out everything. I find that it helps my skin, which is notoriously sensitive and prone to breakouts. I can't use exfoliates or harsh products, so I clarify it Indian (feather, not dot) sweat lodge style. Mind you, you pay a price - it's exhausting. But once you get over the unpleasant side effects of being overheated, dehydrated, and generally a little unbelieving that you decided to do something so foolish...well, you feel great. It's a detox workout. Just be careful to a) not be out there for too long (I do 3 miles max when it's this hot out) and b) thoroughly cool down and rehydrate.

BACK & BICEPS
It's been about a week since I pulled out a p90x disc. Although I still do the Ab Ripper X and Arms & Shoulders routines at the gym, I've gotten a little bored with the repetetive in-home workouts. So today I pulled out a disc I've never used before - Back & Biceps. It was basically 45 minutes of pull-ups and biceps curls, and I loved it. I don't have a pull-up bar (or a place to put one in my underground lair), so I use elastic bands. Still, awesome workout. My biceps are definitely shot.
My favorite part of Back & Biceps? Tim. Tim is my favorite part. Tim the Marine. To explain: these p90x videos feature Tony "Botox" Horton along with buddies/students doing alternate versions of the exercises. There are usually 3 of these random people, and they are different in every video. Some of them are just normal folk(ie. dentists and lawyers), while others are people who are expected to look good(like actors and aerialists). Clearly, Tim falls into the latter category. Who needs trashy romance novels or romantic comedies when you can just pop in your p90x Back & Biceps DVD and watch Tim? Ohhhh, Tim. Tim was doing the elastic band rather than the pull-up bar, just like me! We shared a connection. There's something special between Tim and me. Mmmm, Tim. Tim the Marine.

Excerpts from Facebook Chat

this is why i work...i can get as sloppy as i want to as long as i make it to work the next day

Amen to that

I can't wait to be a paid alcoholic

Hopefully a well-paid alcoholic

I didn't put in this sober time in grad school to be poorly paid

i dont think ive reached that level of wino yet

No, but you could if you wanted to

very true

and we do have a fridge at work so i could totally sneak in thermos wine

Sometimes it's not about actually doing something, but about having the freedom to do it

Totally

Be brazen. Drink it from a cup, and if any ones asks, look them boldly in the eye and say you have to drink cranberry juice for your UTI

exactly

any my creative processes will be way more unique

Absolutely

And you can scare away unwanted conversation by commenting on any discomfort caused by your"UTI"

You'll probably be MORE productive

i am drinking for home depot

Sure are

And because you can't possibly drive home, you'll probably have to arrange a "carpool" (alcoholic speak for "DD").

You're helping the environment too.

a friends of the animals

ummm...friend of the animals

i need to pour smaller glasses

Naw, keep going.

It's for the good of American business and the rainforest.

Also using less gasoline, so you're fighting the terrorists too.

haha

damn mexicans

For all we know, you were on Seal Team Six.

Maybe it was you who crashed that helicopter. Cuz, you know, you were a little hammered after knocking back a bottle of chianti.

referring to mexicans was way funnier in my head than on chat fyi

Yeah, I don't have any wine-related Mexican jokes.

But maybe your improved creativity will help you come up with something.

it was meant to be a social commentary

Ah.

It was over my head.

But then again, I'm sober and therefor on a lower plain of understanding.

exactly

this is why i need to drink at work

i need to go take a shower now though

Wash away that wine smell

Calorie Counters Anonymous

Hi. I'm Kelly, and I'm a calorie counter. I'm that gal with the little notebook in her purse, and every time she eats something, she'll discretely pull it out and scribble in it. I know, I know. It's pathetic, but have you seen the way I eat?! I love food. I eat with abandon. One cookie simply will not do. Please, sir, I want some more.
Counting and logging my calories is the best way I've found to hold myself accountable for what I eat. I know that if I have to write down "12 chocolate chip cookies - 960 calories" in my notebook, well, I might be able to keep it to 5 or 6 cookies. Maybe.
That said, I've learned to truly love the foods that are low in calories, but still mysteriously delicious. I wanted to share some of them with you. These fast and delicious foods won't destroy your waist. They're life-changing!

1. Vitalicious Vitatops - 100 calories
Muffins are a killer. They're so freakin' unhealthy that I can't even enjoy them anymore. But what if you could make them whole wheat, a reasonable portion size, and still deliciously chocolaty and only 100 caloreis? That would be a miracle, right?! Psh, you've never had a Vitatop. Chocolate mint is my favorite (tastes like a Thin Mint cookie), but you have to order those online to get them. The double chocolate and banana nut are a close second, and you can get them in the frozen hippie foods (i.e. organic) section in most groceries stores now.


2. Private Selection Thai Red Curry Chicken Breasts - 300 calories
Precooked frozen chicken breasts are generally pretty awful. Just awful. But sometimes you get home late, you're starving, and you're willing to sacrifice flavor for speed. You think to yourself, "Self, I'm so hungry right now, I won't even notice how rubbery, tasteless, and unsatisfying this frozen poultry mystery meat is". But you do notice, don't you? And a tiny piece of your soul withers away. What if you could have a tasty, juicy, perfectly cooked chicken breast in a pool of decadent red curry sauce? And even better, it cooks in 5 minutes in the microwave and it's only 300 calories? OMG! Did you die and go to heaven?! No, you went to Kroger, ambled over to the chicken area of the frozen foods isle, and bought some Thai Red Curry Chicken Breasts. There are two per package, so perfect for a couple! They're delicious over a bed of rice, and have plenty of sauce to mop up. I lick my plate every time. There is also a Marsala flavor if you're not fond of curry, and I believe they're even lower in calories.


3. Marzetti Light Berry Balsamic Salad Dressing - 45 calories
If you order salads in restaurants with the idea of being healthy, well, I hate to ruin it for you, but your salad dressing probably accounts for 75% of the calories on your plate. At least. Luckily, there are lots of delicious light dressings out there. But damn am I tired of light Italian and Balsamic vinaigrette, so thank goodness for this dressing. It's zesty, but has a nice sweetness from the berry flavor. I can also read the ingredients list and know what everything is. Even better, it's thick, so thick you have to spoon it onto your salad. Perfect for a fresh summer salad! It's available next to the salad section, because it has to be refrigerated.

Call me Sargeant

On top of my horseback riding and spin class duties, I also teach a Boot Camp class. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you want a full-body workout, Boot Camp is where it's at!
I try to structure Boot Camp with equal parts cardio and toning. For example: We'll run laps with obstacles to jump over, and then we hit the weights. We jump rope, and then we drop and do push-ups. We're constantly moving, constantly hitting new muscle groups. Hmm, sounds familiar. Maybe like p90x?
Sure enough, p90x has been a huge help in helping me design these classes. The warm-up section is straight out of p90x, and I've even stolen some of the exercises from the DVDs. In general, the whole pace and progression of Boot Camp reflects p90x - starting out slow, gradually ramping up your heart rate and the difficulty, and just when you think you can't do any more, it's time for cool down and stretching.

Here's my "Lesson Plan" from today's Boot Camp:
WARM UP
STRETCH
600 SERIES - 1,2
RUN 2 Laps
CIRCUIT #1
600 SERIES - 3,1
RUN 2 Laps
CIRCUIT #2
600 SERIES - 2,3
STRETCH

THING YOU NEED:
-Mat
-2 Light Weights (3-5 lb)
-2 Medium Weights (5-10 lb)
-Jump Rope
-A Short Distance to run (20-40 yards)
-Water
-Towel

WARM UP
-March in place, rolling shoulders ~1 min
-Jog in place ~30 sec
-"High Heels" (jog in place, keeping knees down, heels almost hitting your tush) ~30 sec
-Jumping Jacks ~30 sec
-"Cross Your Legs" (run sideways a short distance, crossing your trailing leg in front, then behind you)
-Skip & Sprint (skip high a short distance, shooting for height rather than distance, then sprint back to your starting position)

STRETCH
-Runner's Lunge
-Wide Angle Standing Forward Bend with chest stretch
-Hamstring Stretch
-Tricep and Shoulder Stretches

600 SERIES - Knock out two of these core strengthing sets at a time. By the end of your workout, you'll have done 600 core exercises!

1. 25 crunches, 25 bicycle crunches, 25 leg lifts, and 25 sea turtles (lay on your stomach, lifting your shoulders and thighs off the floor, and swing your arms back like flippers)
   
2. 30 sec side plank on each side, 30 sec plank and then drop down into a 10 sec chaturanga.
3. 20 side V-ups on each side, 60 sec alternating back extensions (get on your mat on your hands and knees. Slowly lift your right arm and left leg. Lower them, and then lift your left arm and right leg.
   

CIRCUIT #1

1. 10-->1 Push-Up to Plyo Squats. Perform 10 push-ups, then jog a short distance and perform 10 plyometric squats. Return to staring pount. Perform 9 push-ups, jog a short distance and perform 9 plyometric squats. Keep going until you get to 1.
   
2. 10 Swimmer's Press with medium weight
3. 10 Tricep Extension with light weight
   
4. Zig Zag - Set up 5 or 6 cones, rocks, or markers in a zig-zagging pattern, with the distance between each marker getting smaller and smaller. Sprint from marker to marker, reaching down to touch each marker as you pass it. Repeat 5 times.

CIRCUIT #2

1. 50-->10 Jump Rope & 5-->1 Lateral/Front Shoulder Raise. Jump rope 50 times at whatever pace you can manage, then jog a short distance. Perform 5 shoulder raises with a light weight (lift to the front, lift to the side, and that's 1). Jog back to your jump rope, jump 40 times, then jog back to your starting point and perform 4 shoulder raises. And so on.
2. Lunge-Kickback-Curl-Press with light weights.
3. 10 Upright Row with medium weight
   
4. 10 Lunge & Reach with medium weight.
   

Food Network Star

I know some one who is dating some one who could become famous! Lol, my boss is dating a contestant on Food Network Star, which debuts tonight at 9pm. You should watch and vote for Atlanta resident and my employer's BF, Justin Balmes!

Horse Crazy!

Per usual, I taught lessons today at Chastain. However, one of my students was advanced enough to do some jumping exercises, which made the lesson really interesting and even more fun! Jumping adds a whole new level of difficulty to horseback riding. Just think - when you're just riding around, you have to be firm and balanced in the saddle while sending commands to your horses in a clear and effective manner. You have to be in sync with the horses's rhythm, encouraging his movement forward and asking him to engage specific muscles in his body. It takes years to become an accomplished rider on the flat (meaning without jumps). To jump safely and effectively, you have to achieve all these things and then put obstacles in your way. Lol, it's hard! But omigoodness, is it fun.










My student today was working on her position over the fence. When a horse jumps, you raise your seat out of the saddle and slide your hands up his neck, so that he can jump freely. It takes a lot of balance and strength. I set up a "gymnastics" course, which consists of many jumps in a straight line. As soon as you land, you jump again immediately. It really forces you to control your body's movement, because you can't afford to get "disorganized" over a fence. Cuz, you know, you have another jump coming right up! This is similar to what we did today.

And if you're wondering why I like to jump 1200-lb animals over heavy obstacles, you should watch this video. Cuz it's awesome!

Boigas

Today Rebecca hosted a fabulous Memorial Day cookout. We ate. We drank. We sucked it up at croquet (well, I did anyway). As my potluck item, I brought fixings for my cajun burgers, which are Nawlins-inspired burgers packed with juicy vegetables and spicy andouille sausage. I serve them with a red pepper aioli (props to Steph for the classy-sounding term).
Burgers are one of those great foods with endless possibilities. Like pizza or pasta, you can work all kinds of magic around a very simple frame - in this case, a meat patty on a bun. Sure, there's the classic beef patty with ketchup, lettuce and tomato. Or you mix it up by using different meats, and then throw in some unique ingredients and special spices. Restaurants have made an art of this, after all. Ever had the Yokahoma Mama at The Vortex, with it's thick pineapple slice and teriyaki sauce? Or one of the artful mini burgers from Flip, such the Southern burger smothered in curried pickles and pimento cheese? Even Houston's has a veggie burger that will blow your mind.
Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of the $40 over-the-top, classy burger, probably made from the tenderest bits of cows who drink out of golden troughs and are given deep tissue massages twice daily. It's a burger, for Pete's sake. A summertime staple. Meat on a bun. Juicy, flavorful, and totally unpretentious. That said, I wanted to share a few of my favorite non-traditional burgers.

CAJUN BURGERS- Here it is, kids. Remember that this recipe has pork in it, so cook your patties thoroughly. If you like your burger medium-rare, then replace the ground pork with just beef. The patties are also a little fragile, so don't push them around on the grill or skillet too much.
- 1 lb andouille sausage, removed from casings
- 1/2 lb ground pork
- 1/2 lb ground chuck
- 1 rib celery
- 1/2 green bell, pepper
- 1 small white onion
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tsp dried thyme
- 1-2 tsp hot sauce, or to your liking
- salt and pepper to taste

1. Pulse sausage into crumbles in a food processor.
2. Pulse celery, bell pepper, and onion in a food processor until finely chopped (about 1/4" pieces).
3. Combine all ingredients. Form into 5-6 thick patties, with a slight indentation in the middle of each patty.
4. If cooking in a skillet, heat 1-2 Tb vegetable oil over medium-high heat. Cook 6-7 min per side, indented side first. Don't move them around the pan too much, or they may fall apart.
If cooking on the grill, you may want to line the rack with foil, because the patties may fall apart. Cook 6" from coals or over medium-high heat, covered, for 6 minutes per side.
5. Serve with a generous dollop of red pepper aioli.

RED PEPPER AIOLI- mix all ingredients together
- 1/4 C mayonnaise
- 2-3 TB red pepper relish
- dash hot sauce (skip if using hot red pepper relish)

SALMON BURGERS - I've looked for a good salmon patty recipe for years, and I finally found this one in the latiest issue of Food Network Magazine (which has a whole section of unique burgers - buy it!). It has a wonderful salmon flavor, which is enhanced with a little lemon and dijon mustard, without being too fishy or dry. It's absolutely delicious with some baby arugula and some Old Bay aioli on a toasted bun.
- 1 1/4 center-cut salmon fillet, skin and bones removed
- 2 Tb dijon mustard
- 1 Tb mayonnaise
- 1 Tb fresh lemon juice
- 1/2 tsp grated lemon zest
- pinch of cayenne pepper
- 2 scallions, chopped fine
- 1 C + 2 Tb panko or white bread crumbs
- 2 Tb olive oil

1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and brush with olive oil.
2. Cut three quarters of the salmon into 1/4" pieces. Set aside in a large bowl.
3. Cut the remaining salmon into chunks and put in a food processor with the mustard, mayo, lemon juice, lemson zest and cayenne. Pulse to make a paste.
4. Add the paste mixture to the diced salmon. Add the scallions, 2 Tb bread crumbs, 1/2 tsp salt and pepper to taste. Gently mixed until just combined.
5. Divide the salmon mix into 4 mounds on the parchment paper. Pat into 1" thick patties. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator at least 30 minutes to set.
6. Spread the bread crumbs in a pie plate or shallow bowl. Press both side of the patties into the crumbs.
7. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the patties. Cook until browned on the bottom, 3-4 minutes. Turn and cook the other side until browned and centers feel springy, 3-4 minutes more. Remove from pan and pat with paper towels to remove excess oil.

OLD BAY AIOLI- mix all ingredients together.
- 3/4 C mayonnaise
- zest and juice of 1 small lemon
- 1 tsp Old Bay seasoning
- 1 scallion, minced

Marathon Day

Friday is my long day. I roll out of bed at 5:30am, have a quick bite to eat, and ramble over to the CRC to teach the 6:30 Indoor Cycling class. I had 8 students this morning, and I think we all had a good time. I enjoy watching their faces go from glazed-over, sleepy stares to energized "woo-hoo" faces. Plus it's a great feeling to watch the sun come up, and know that you've already done your work out for the day. And since there isn't another class until 8am, I have 30 minutes to pull out a mat and do my abs workout. After that, I go to class. Then I grab a little lunch and study for a bit. And I finish the day teaching lessons at Chastain. Today I got home around 7, wolfed down some Cambell's soup and a salad, and totally crashed! Going to bed tired, but thoroughly fulfilled.

I'm still alive! A talking now too.

It's been quite a week, and p90x didn't survive it. I wound up with a bit of a summer cold last week, which I then exacerbated by hollering at my horseback riding lessons all day Saturday. Consequently, I didn't have a voice on Sunday (the Sewing Party gals can attest). Even by Tuesday, it was still in bad shape, and my cold had settled into a painless, but incessant cough. So basically, today was the first day I've worked out since last week. I am such a bum!

To make up for last week, I decided to really bring it today. I got to the gym early and knocked out my p90x "Arms & Shoulders" workout. Then I taught my Cycle Abs class, so I got a solid 45 minutes of cardio exercise and 10 minutes of core strengthening. Arms, legs, cardio, and abs. Huzzah!

I'm also putting together a new schedule. Between classes, teaching at the barn, teaching at the gym, and looking for a job (ew), I'm pretty booked. I have to squeeze in my workouts when they're convenient, such as when I'm already at the gym. This is my plan:

Mon: Either Boot Camp class or p90x Legs & Back
Tue: Cardio X
Wed: Cycle Abs class, p90x Shoulders & Arms
Thu: Yoga
Fri: Indoor Cycling class, Ab Ripper X
Saturday: Rest or Stretch X
Sun: Core Synergistics

Sunday may end up being a rest day, because Saturday really isn't - I teach all day at the barn, which is kinda sorta exhausting, but in a good way. However, I think my weekday schedule is locked in stone.

Week 6, Day 1 - Fighting Boredom

So it's week 6, although technically week 7 because I repeated. I got home at 9:30 and still had Core Synergistics to do. I gotta admit: I was really unenthusiastic about it.
Was it because it was 10pm?
Was it because of my lackluster meal at Five Seasons?
Was it because my left knee still hurts?
Or...am I getting bored?

Ok, it was probably everything combined. However, I have begun to view these p90x workouts as a bit of a chore. Working out alone at home certainly has its charms, but I really miss the gym, my workout buddies, and my spin classes. There's a saying, "You can take the girl out of the gym, but not the gym out of the girl". I believe Oscar Wilde said that. Or maybe Lincoln.
The good news is that I start teaching gym classes next week. My academic classes started today and I'm now teaching horseback riding lessons about 20-30 hours a week. The bad news: I'm booked solid every day except Sunday. At best, I'm scheduled from 10am to 8pm. At worst, I'm scheduled from 6:30am to 8pm. I have to sleep and eat too, supposedly. Which begs the question, when am I going to fit in these p90x workouts?

I have to reorganize.

• Kenpo X and Yoga X are the first to go. They're both really hard on my knees. I love the Kenpo, but I'm definitely getting enough cardio. And we all know how I feel about Yoga X.

• I will keep all the weights sessions: Legs & Back, Arms & Shoulders, Chest Shoulders & Triceps, and Ab Ripper X. They must stay.

So there ya go. After this week, I'm going to concoct a new schedule. I'll be removing 2 p90x workouts, but adding 3 gym classes and long days at the barn. Lol. Hardly an even trade, but I think it makes the whole thing more manageable.

Week 5, Day 4 - Making Yoga Work

I don't hate Yoga X, but nor do I love Yoga X. And as Mary pointed out tonight, it isn't really yoga. When Tony Horton starts yelling at me to get my legs straighter, well, that's not yoga, is it? To me, yoga should be a mind-body workout, one from which you walk away feeling an all-too-brief sense of strength and peace. Do I sound too "granola"? Basically, yoga should be like having a perfect cup of tea and then going on a moderately difficult nature hike - challenging, but peaceful. It's about the balance of pushing your body while maintaining tranquility in your thoughts.
Believe me, there are no tranquil thoughts going through my head during Yoga X. Mostly, it's some variation of "omigod thisuxsobad" or "I hate you, Tony Horton". Forty five minutes of warrior poses (like the advanced Leg Warmer Reverse Warrior), where your legs are shaking and your back hurts and you're cursing in an unladylike fashion....well, I don't think that's yoga. It's "Yoga-inspired Body Toning". Let's say "Yogatone X", because that sounds more hard core.
Yesterday, I flat-out decided to take a stand. My left knee has been getting better, and I wanted to do some yoga that wouldn't undo that. Yoga X was out.

Over the last few years, I've collected quite a few yoga videos. Some are good. Most are awful. I wanted to share a few favorites with you.

1) Trudy Styler's Warrior Yoga
For an intermediate yoga practicer, this video is wonderful. It features Trudy Styler (wife of notorious rockstar, Sting) and her insanely flexible Indian friend who wears really tight shorts as they make pretzels of themselves in a gorgeous Italian villa, all the while playing acoustic renditions of Sting's music in the background. It's good to be Sting's wife. Anyway, there's very little in the way of difficult strength-building poses. However, it provides a fantastic stretch (literally, you will stretch everything on your body), and offers a relaxing but motivating practice. If you want to improve your flexibility, I highly recommend this DVD. There is a full 50-minute practice, as well as a 20 minute one, which I love. My only critiques are, again, that you won't be building much strength and also that the Indian guy doesn't provide many variations on poses.
Another thought on the Indian guy in his no-imagination-required shorts: I'm not sure how to open my head like a "thousand petaled lotus", but maybe if my shorts were that tight, I'd be thinking crazy thoughts too.

2) Rodney Yee's Yoga for Beginners
This was where I started! This DVD has a really great introductory section that teaches you the basic poses (downward facing dog, cobra, mountain, staff, the warrior poses, etc.) and how you should compose your body as you move through them. It's simple and clear. There are also two short practices that just about anybody can do, and you'll walk away feeling relaxed and like you accomplished something. I still do this video! My only criticism is I simply wish there was more. While perusing Amazon, I discovered "Rodney Yee: Abs Yoga for Beginners" and "Rodney Yee Intermediate Yoga"...might need those.


3) Rodney Yee's Power Yoga
OK. I'm a fan of Rodney Yee. He's the man. Also, his body is exquisite. Just sayin'. This video is challenging, and not for the yoga newbie. Also not for someone who is disturbed by the use of the term "pubic bone". In any case, this DVD will make you break a sweat! He provides much more detailed descriptions of how to arrange your body (that's where the "pubic bone" comes into play), and the poses require much more physical strength. Next week, I will be replacing my Yoga X video with this one!



4) Hot Nude Yoga
OK, just kidding. I don't own this. But seriously, a "2 Disc Strengthening Set"? He he. Right.