My blog has a new home

With a new gmail account comes a new home for my blog:

http://gunnapumpyouup.blogspot.com/

Still hanging in there

Good news, folks. I am still very much on the South Beach Bandwagon, despite being terribly sick today. No worries, I'm good now. But I've learned my lesson about eating too much dairy and caffeine.

Now time for confessions: I did break down and eat a few Pepperidge Farm milan cookies (that was my whole lunch), but if you know what I've been through today, you'd understand. They were the only things I felt my stomach could handle. Cookies are my chicken soup.

I have 1 day left, and then I'm going to jump off this moving South Beach train for a few days. Let's hope I don't land too hard. Ill be in Chicago on Friday, and I'm not going to try getting a head of lettuce and some low-carb salad dressing through airport security. I don't want to be mistaken for a Hidden Valley Ranch Al Qaeda.

I'm a Terrible Daughter.

I love my mom very much, but today I just couldn't help myself. It all started when I called her from my office phone for the first time. Oddly, she didn't recognize my voice from that phone. Psh! As if I'm not going to take advantage of that? So I waited a few hours and called again...

*ring ring*

Mom: Hello?

Me: Hello, is Mrs. [Mom's last name, pronounced totally incorrectly] available?

Mom (a little annoyed): This is she. May I ask who is calling?

Me: Hi Mrs. [Name still pronounced wrong]. My name is Laura, I'm calling from Atlanta Refrigeration and Cooling Services. I'm calling with regard to a problem that seems to be occurring in your neighborhood. Do you have time to answer a few questions?

Mom: Yes, well, as long as you don't mind if I'm working. I have spreadsheets to work on, and if somebody calls, I'll have to go.

Me: Absolutely, m'am.

Mom: We might get cut off.

Me: Yes, and thank you for your time.

Mom: What's the problem? Your name is Laura?

Me: Yes, as I said, my name is Laura and I'm calling from Atlanta Refrigeration and Cooling Services. Your builder has contacted us to investigate a recurring problem in your neighborhood. Some of your neighbors have experienced a problem with the power supply to their kitchen appliances. Have you had any problem with power to your kitchen appliances?

Mom: Yes, Laura, actually I have. The microwave has been cutting out. It started recently.

Me: Hm, the microwave? I'm afraid that's new. I'm going to make a note of it here. Thank you.

Mom: Yes, sometimes it's fine, and then it shuts off for no reason.

Me: Ok, have you had any trouble with the stovetop?

Mom: No.

Me: Ok, thank you. How about your refrigerator? Has it been running OK?

Mom: Yes, I think so. I haven't noticed a problem with it.

Me: Hmmmmmm, well, then you should probably go catch it.

Mom: ........

Mom: ........

Mom: WHO IS THIS?!

Mom later expressed that she wasn't sure what to be more embarrassed about: that she fell for that refrigerator bit, or that she couldn't recognize her own daughter's voice. In her defense, I was using my best telemarketer voice and we use phones that don't pick up any background noise (so we probably really do sound different). She also told me that the microwave really isn't working right. I recommended that she call Atlanta Refrigeration and Cooling Services about it.

I love my poor mother. She puts up with me.

South Beach, Day 2

So far, so good. I even had the will power to cut up some forgotten and overly ripe strawberries, stuff them into a ziplock bag and hurriedly shove them into the freezer without eating a single one. I'm proud. And one day, when I take out those strawberries to make a delicious, sugary daquiri, I will know the fortitude from whence they sprang.

Anyway, after work I got through the p90x Cardio X DVD. Between my poor fitness level and the lack of carbs, it was a little tiring. Have to start somewhere, yeah?

I then made a tasty salmon dinner. Having grown up in the Pacific Northwest, I get a little snobby about salmon. Those Atlantic fishies simply do not measure up to the Alaskan real deal. Furthermore, my Dad is a black belt grill master - he would buy a whole side fillet with skin on, spread this thick and tasty mystery paste on it, and then oh-so-carefully cook it to perfection on the grill. Heaven.

Well, I can't do all that. But I can make this very fast and easy steamed salmon with dill sauce. Plus it's low-carb. You can even get Alaskan sockeye in the grocery store right now, so don't be a cheapwad - get the real deal.

PERFECT STEAMED SALMON - You can half this recipe if you can't eat 2 pounds of fish.

- 2 lb fresh salmon

- 1-3 TB fresh lemon juice

- 1/3 C water

- salt and pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and adjust rack to center. Line a baking sheet with a large piece of foil, and turn the edges up. Very lightly coat with cooking spray.

2. Place fish skin-side down on foil. Squeeze lemon juice over salmon, then lightly sprinkle with salt and pepper. Pour water around fish.

3. Fold aluminum over fish, and firmly crimp shut so the fish will steam cook.

4. Cook 12-15 min or until fish flakes with a fork in the center of the fillet. Or, allow about 12 min per 1" thickness of fish. Be careful when opening the foil - hot steam! Serve with ~2 Tb dill sauce.

DILL SAUCE - I subbed Kroger brand sugar-free relish (OMG, I love you Kroger!) for the dill relish. This might also make a tasty salad dressing if you like dill, but I've yet to try it.

- 1/4 C fat free Miracle Whip

- 1/4 C light mayonnaise

- 1/3 C skim milk

- 2 tsp dried dill or dill seasoning mix (I use Pampered Chef brand)

- 2 tsp dill relish

Post-Holiday Relief

Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. But boy howdy, they get me every year. 10 pounds? Maybe? It's hard to say, since I've been putting it on since August. And while I normally scoff at the post-Christmas crash dieters (lazy binging bums!), I too have reached that point. Actually, I am so utterly sick of rich holiday fare that I REALLY want to diet.

So.

South Beach Diet.

Me and my blog have been through this before, so check out the August 2011 archive for the basics. For 12-14 days (however long I can last), I'll be depriving myself of carbs and sugars, which sound terrible right now anyway.

That said, I traipsed off to the grocery store today to stock up on vegetables, lean meats, and light dairy. I even made a batch of all the fixings for taco salad (with seasoned ground turkey and homemade dressing), so I'll be all set to start tomorrow.

Updates tomorrow!

Scamming the Scammers, Part II

The house has THREE liquor chifferobes?! It really is too good to be true!

(214): How are you doing today? did you forward your Deposit becos they are people also interested in the house

(214): Are you able to send your deposit...They are other people that is up for the house
(678): Good morning! Before I submit my deposit, could you email me a pic of the liquor chifferone? You said the house has 1. I need to know it's big enough for us 3.

(214): Do you mean the Liquor chifferobe...

(678): Yes, that's what I mean. You're so sweet! I'll check my email for your pic.

(214): Good...we will be happy to receive you and your nfamily as our guest

(214): Please check your email now

(214): We will be happy to receive you as our guest(214): It will be ncie to have you as our guest

(214): Did you get it?

Email attachment:

(678): I did receive it. Thank you! It has a lovely distressede finish, but I don't think it's large enough for our purpose. Plus, I don't think it's a certified chifferobe. You should contact your dealer. But thank you so much for all your help. We'll have to decline.

(214): we have two of it let me send you the second one

(214): Let me send the second one...we have about 3 in the house

(678): Are you at the house now?

(214): yeah...i am at the house now...We already have you reserved...that is why we declined whosoever booked the house

(678): Oh, that was so kind of you to do

(678): Can you see Cuba today? Is the weather clear enough?

(214): You will be such a nice person

(214): Thanks...
(214): Yeah...sure

(214): All you need to get the house reserved is to get your deposit paid and your date will be reserved successfully.

(214): We will be happy to have you as our guest

(214): You will enjoy the house and its facilities

Scamming the Scammers

I believe in justice. No, I'm not going to go all renegade Bruce Wayne, but if I can make life a little more inconvenient for people who are clearly doing wrong...well, it's on like Donkey Kong.

Take this for instance.

My Oregonian family and I had contemplated taking a trip to the Florida Keys over the holidays. Although we eventually decided against it, I had done a preliminary search for available condos. Mind you, it's the holidays in south Florida. You're lucky if you can find a condemned hovel on wheels for less than $800 a week. So when I found this 3-bedroom renovated condo in Key West, available immediately, for $150 a night....I was suspicious. It's like a dream come true plus a Cabana boy.

Well, I called the number and left an inquiry anyway. They responded via text at 4:30am. Jerks.

Later in the morning I did a 10-minute Google search of the address (and if you're Googling for more than 1 minute, then whatever you're looking for is legitimately difficult to find).

Sure enough, it's a scam. Some jerk overseas with a google voice account has you fill out a fake contract and submit your deposit via paypal. Then it disappears forever into the internet ether. This guy is stealing people's hard earned Holiday vacations! DURING CHRISTMAS. Nobody messes with Christmas on my watch. Now, I can't catch this guy. I can't get their money back. But I can....waste an enormous amount of his time.

Let the text war begin.

*DISCLAIMER

1) For the record, neither I nor my family (despite being from the very green state of Oregon) are smokers

2) I don't actually own a pot-belly pig, so don't worry. My candles and throw pillows are fine.

3) If you want this guy's number, I'd be happy to give it to you.

4) All misspellings and weird capitalizations are true to the original. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand half of the stuff I was asking him.

(214): I just sent you the information you will need abt the house

(678): Thank you very much!

(214): hURRY NOW AND MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS

(214): ITS XMAS SEASON...OTHER PEOPLE ARE UP FOR THE HOUSE

(678): Can you tell me what the weekly and nightly rates are?

(214): WHAT'S YOUR RESERVATION LIKE?? SO I CAN GET THE ESTIMATIONS TO YOU ANS THE COST

(214): INCLUDING THE PAYMENT METHOD

(678): We are interested in Dec 28-Jan 1st. We can pay by check, cash, or online payment. We're flexible. :)

(214): Thanks and happy booking We will be happy to receive you as our guest

(678): Ok, well, I need a rate before I book anything. Lol.

(214): let me get the estimations to you

(678): Thank you! :) I appreciate your help on such short notice.

(214): its 150 per night

(214): do i still need to send you the terms and conditions

(214): Are you interested

(678): Sure, thank you. I am very interested. I have to confirm with my family in Oregon.

(214): I just send it to you now...please try and check your email now

(214): No problem at all...You are welcome

(678): is it Flemming St or Fleming St with 1 m? I'm google mapping the house for a street view. :)

(214): Flemming St

(214): Hurry now and make your reservations

(678): Also, do you accept pets? We have a pot-belly pig. She is housetrained and crate trained. Very sweet.

(214): are you coming with a pet? and if you do they is much space for that hope is a clean dog though

(678): It's a pot belly pig. Much cleaner than a dog. Also, how tolerant are the neighbors of smoke? Like, outside. We wouldn't smoke inside, obviously.

(214): Are many people is occupying the house...will like to know

(678): 3 adults. Me and my parents. We are low key. Not party people. We just like to smoke together, if you know what I mean. They're from Oregon, haha, amiright?

(214): No problem about that...how do you want to go about your deposit so i can get a receipt issued to you immediately

(678): Sometimes the pot belly joins in too. Hahaha. We can put her mattress outside if she's a problem.

(678): Deposit, sure. Can you accept cash? I'm in Miami now, it would be easy for me to skip down there. Avoid those paypal fees.

(214): i sent you the estimations of the unit

(678): Is there a liquor chifferobe?

(214): Yeah sure...

(214): i wrote it in the mail that We Accept Payment via Paypal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): So we can get you reserved ASAP

(214): We prefer you use western union or money tram if you don't want to use paypal

(678): What about payment in-kind? I mentioned that I smoke...

(214): You will need a lease agreement...can i send you that now

(214): no problem...but we dont want the house to be dirty...

(678): Oh, no. We are very clean. We bathe every day mostly.

(214): no problem about the smoking

(214): The house is very spacious

(678): Sure. Can you send directions on how to use the pool? Can the pot belly go in the pool? We all love to swim.

(214): once the deposit has been made...the Lease agreement and terms and condition will be send to you ASAP

(214): Thanks...amd it will be glad to receive you as out guest

(678): Question. How far is Cuba from the house? Is it close enough for a day trip?

(214): Which one do you prefer. PayPal, Money Fram, Western union money transfer

(214): its is not that far...will you be coming from cuba

(678): Yes, we're from Miami

(214): its not far...when are you making your reservations? so we can get you reserved

(214): will be there personally to hand over the keys to the house to you

(678) Dec 28-1st. In time for the Cuban New Year. Yay! Can't wait!

(214): because some other people are up for the house

(214): Hurry up and make your reservations

(678): Ok, I'll work on the paperwork as soon as I talk to my family. Have to feed the pot belly pig too. She's snorting at me. Haha! Silly pig. Thank you!

(214): Let me send the lease agreement to you. Thanks and Merry Xmas in advance

(678): Thank you, Happy Kwanza!

(214): please check your email its has been sent to you

Some hours later....

(214): Are you still interested in the house?

(678): I've been busy, haven't had a chance to decide. I had to take the pot belly to the emergency vet. She ate 3 throw pillows and a decorative pillar candle. Ugh!

(214): let us know what is happening...So we can get you reserved in time

(678): Can you remove the pillar candles from the house?

(214): yeah...why?

(678): Well, don't want another emergency trip to the vet. :(

(214): okay then...So when are you making your reservation

(678) Dec 28-Jan 1

(214): yeah...i got the estimations to you...we are waiting to make your deposit paid and we get your receipt to you ASAP

(214): We Accept PayPal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): which one do you prefer

(678): Will you accept Cuba Libre Bank Online Billpay?

(214): we gave you the payment we prefer...that is the terms and condition applied

(214): Are you booking...i think western union money transfer will be ok

(678): Oh, ok. I'm so sorry. Paypal is fine. Sure I can't just give you my bank account info and do a transfer?

(214): Let me text you our payment officer Paypal email address and get you the deposit there and a receipt will be issued to you immediately...Happy booking

(214): Forward to [email address removed to protect the guilty]

(678): Thank you! I'll work on it tonight. I'm at work now. Have to empty this executive liquor chifferobe by the end of the day or my boss will surely fire me. :(

(214): Once the Fund has been made...Just forward the confirmation from paypay and get back y=to us

(214): We will be happy to receive you and Your family as our guest

This went on for many highly enjoyable hours. I'm sure there will be more. Stay tuned.

Starting out strong

This week is going much better.
Monday I pulled out the trusty old Kenpo X video, and had a nice little kickboxing session. Then I promptly made shepherd's pie and pretzel caramels. But don't worry. The shepherd's pie was actually a lower calorie variation, at only about 350 calories a serving. With this cold weather, I needed a little comfort food. As for the pretzel caramels, well, I had a few. OK, 3 or 4. But I had purposely eaten light all day, knowing they were on the docket for the evening.

I took the day off on Tuesday to address the calamitous condition of my domestic affairs. That is, I had a lot of laundry and cleaning and tidying to do when I got home.

Today I went to the gym to teach the "Back to Abs" class and then jumped on the stairmaster for 30 min. So double check off my list.

I've been pretty good about eating well. I hit around 1700 yesterday, but considering the sheer length of the day (Lawd, it was a day), I won't be too hard on myself. I'm going to be on my best behavior the next few days because I anticipate having thousands of extra calories at the 2011 Highlands Club Holiday Pub Crawl. See you there.

It sucks being a grown-up

It's been a very busy week. I've had career information sessions, an interview, late nights at work, late nights at the brewery, long days working at the barn...I'm making excuses, really. It's Saturday, and I've barely made a dent in my list.

However, when I've been able to work out, I've done well. I did a solid upper body workout while watching Grimm on demand the other night (love that show), and then I taught a really intense spin class at 6:30am on Friday. Today I taught horseback riding lessons from 9-2, so I'm just going to go ahead and count that as a cardio session. Lol, it's walking and yelling, lifting heavy poles and running about the ring. If that's not exercise, then I don't know what it.

As for my pseudo-diet, it's been hit or miss. I did great Monday through Wed, actually staying well below 1500 calories. Then Stephanie forced beer down my throat at ABC on Thursday (it's all her fault). On Friday, I decided to bake these oatmeal fudge bars I've been dreaming about. Stephanie was not present, so I can't blame that on her. Maybe I will anyway. It's all your fault, Stephanie.
I have no idea where my calorie count is today, but I worked at the barn straight from 9-2 with only a granola bar and a few tangerines, and I managed to only eat 4 or 5 (or was it 5 or 6) of those oatmeal fudge bars when I got home....yeah, who am I kidding? Today is blown because of those fudge bars. Lol. Luckily, I am going to my mom's house, so I can pawn them off on her. Does putting up Xmas decorations count as a cardio workout?

I did manage to have the most incredible steak last night. I tired a dry spice rub featuring, of all things, instant coffee powder. And it was de-freakin-licious. Skirt and flank steak can go oh-so wrong oh-so easily, despite how simple it is to cook. I've collected a lot of tasty marinades for flank streak over the years, but I've never tried a dry rub. Boy, am I glad I did. I had also bought some mango pico de gallo (in the salad section at Walmart), which I ate over some romaine with light berry vinaigrette. I was very happy at the dinner table.

COFFEE RUBBED STEAK - I pulled the recipe out of the latest Food Network Magazine (which you should really buy!). The flavor reminds me of mole sauce. It's dark and rich, but the brown sugar gives it a caramelized sweetness. Niiiiice. Best of all, the entire process took 15 min. The original recipe actually called for sauteing sliced onions and peppers with a little lime juice in the drippings, which would probably have blown my fragile mind had I tried it.
- 2 Tb packed light brown sugar
- 1 Tb instant coffee
- 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp mustard powder
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/8 tsp cinnamon
- salt
- 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 lb skirt steak, cut in half if necessary
- ~1 Tb vegetable oil

1. If your steak seems tough, wrap in saran wrap and lightly beat the shit out of it with a mallet. But don't tenderize it flat. It's gotta go to church in the mornin', and you don't want nobody askin' no questions.
2. Thoroughly combine first 6 ingredients and 1 tsp salt.
3. Lightly season steak with more salt, then thoroughly rub the spice mixture into both sides of the steak.
4. Heat oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Sear steak, 3-6 min per side for medium rare.
5. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest a few min before slicing.

Back in Black Capris

So after a fall fitness season totally destroyed by interviews, work, over-eating and injury...I'm back, bitches. Today I put on my favorite black capri pants to teach spin class. No surprise, they don't fit so well. Quite frankly, considering my diet and schedule, it's amazing they fit at all. Nonetheless, it's time to get back in shape.

Emergency Measure #1: Calorie Cuts
Hi, my name is Kelly, and I'm a calorie counter. It's not out of a paranoid need to track everything that goes into my body. It's just that when I keep track of my caloric intake, it makes me feel accountable for my food choices. It also makes me more aware of what and how much I'm eating. And going into a season of over-indulgence, well, awareness is critical.
So. I'm going to keep it to a (rather conservative) 1500 calories per day. That gives me room for that much-needed mid-afternoon cookie, but I can still drop a few pounds a week at that rate.

Emergency Measure #2: Fitness Regimen
Honestly? I've gotten bored with my workouts. On top of that, it's dark when I leave work, which makes me want to go home and curl up with a smutty book rather than destroy the free weights. Also, my Christmas tree is so pretty - I just want to sit and stare at it. And I need to wash my hair and balance my checkbook.
This is ridiculous. Mind over matter, homies. Time to make myself exercise. And seeing how much I love lists (and the satisfaction of crossing things off a list), I'm going to make a list of fitness sessions that I must complete each week. Doesn't matter when or what order I do them in, so long as they get done.

I don't want to over-extend myself, so this is my plan for now.

The Magical Fruit

Without conjuring any dirty rhymes, I'll just say that beans are awesome. They're particularly awesome on South Beach Diet, where it's very hard to find foods that are genuinely filling.

GREEN CHICKEN CHILI - This recipe is actually one that I frequently make anyway, and just happens to be South Beach-friendly. It has a bright flavor with a bit of kick, and best of all, is super-healthy without sacrificing any flavor.
- 3 lb bone-in, skin-on split chicken breasts
- vegetable oil
- salt and pepper
- 3 poblano peppers
- 3 Anaheim peppers
- 2 jalapeno peppers
- 2 onions, chopped
- 6 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 Tb ground cumin
- 1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
- 2 (15 oz) cans cannelini beans (white kidney beans), drained & rinsed
- 32 oz low-sodium chicken broth
- 1/4 C fresh cilantro, minced
- 4 scallions, sliced thin
-3 Tb fresh lime juice

1. Season chicken with salt and peppers. Heat 2 Tb oil in a large French oven or stock pot over medium-high heat. Brown chicken, skin side down, until deep golden, ~ 6 min. Set aside. Remove skins.
2. In batches, pulse chilies in a food processor to consistency of chunky salsa.
3. Add 1 tb oil to pot. Add chilies, onions, garlic, cumin, coriander, and 1 tsp salt. Cook, stirring often, until veggies are softened, ~10 min.
4. Transfer 1 C of cooked veggies mixture to food processor. Add 1 C beans and 1 C broth. Process until smooth. Return to pot.
5. Add remaining 3 C broth. Return chicken to pot. Cover & simmer until chicken registers 160 degrees F, 10-15 min. Remove chicken and shred it.
6. Stir in remaining beans. Simmer until heated through, ~5 min.
7. Stir in shredded chicken. Summer until thickened, ~15 min.
8. Stir in cilantro, scallions, & lime juice. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

FAUX BROWNIES - Yes, I said it. Fake brownies. No flour, no sugar, no chocolate chips. Just moist, chocolaty, nutty goodness. Do they taste as good as real brownies? Hello no! But you know what, they're a welcome bit of chocolate and fluffiness in an otherwise barren menu of veggies and meats. The original recipe called for olive oil, which lended a decidedly unpleasant flavor of minerals, or Italy, or something weird and unwanted. I figured 2 Tb of butter weren't going to kill me.
- 1 can (15.5 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 4 large eggs
- 2 Tb melted unsalted butter
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 C Splenda
- 3 Tb unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- chopped walnuts or pecans

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease an 8x8" baking pan.
2. In a blender or food processor, combine the beans, eggs, butter, vanilla, Splenda, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt. Process until smooth.
3. Scrape the batter into the pan. Sprinkle nuts on top. Bake for 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Serve warm with Faux Whipped Topping.










FAUX WHIPPED TOPPING - I've become a stark raving fan of Greek yogurt. Buyer beware: different brands have decidedly different qualities. So far, Chobani is my favorite, but Kroger also makes a thick, delicious Greek yogurt. Surprisingly, the "Greek" brand was absolutely terrible.
- Big healthy dollop of plain, nonfat Greek yogurt
- Splenda to taste
- Vanilla extract to taste

1. Just mix it all together, and spoon onto your Faux Brownie. Then smile at all the calories, fat, and carbs you've cut.

Grocery List

Wondering what kinds of foods I can eat on South Beach? Well, it changes. The Diet consists of 3 phases:

1. Phase I - Super Strict. Lean meats, vegetables, and low-fat dairy are permitted, but any carbohydrates and sugars are out of the question. So no bread, pasta, starchy veggies, or fruits. Cookies? Psh, fuh-get about it. Life is tough. Luckily, Phase I only lasts 2 weeks, although I'm aiming for 12 days.
2. Phase II - We get some of the good stuff back. Natural sugars and complex carbohydrates are now OK, so we can eat fresh fruit and whole grains.
3. Phase III - This is the life phase. Pretty much anything goes, so long as it doesn't undo everything you've worked for in the previous 2 phases.

Now to share my grocery list for Phase I. Recipes coming soon!

VEGGIES:
Celery
Cherry Tomatoes
Large tomatoes
Snap Peas
Red & Green Bell Peppers
Poblano Peppers
Anaheim Peppers
Jalapeno Peppers
Romaine
Scallions
Jicama
Ginger
Garlic
Basil
Cilantro
Cannellini Beans
Frozen Artichoke Hearts
Frozen Spinach

MEAT
Canadian Bacon
Turkey Deli Meat
Flank Steak
Split Chicken Breasts

DAIRY:
Cheddar - low fat
Colby - low fat
Muenster slices
Blue cheese - low fat, crumbled
Ricotta - low fat
Cottage Cheese - nonfat
Greek yogurt - nonfat plain
string cheese - part skim
Laughing Cow Light Cheese Spread
Skim Milk
Eggs
Egg Beaters (egg substitute)

MISC
Water Chestnuts
Peanuts
Pistachios
Chicken Broth (LOTS of it)

LIFE-SAVERS
Splenda
Sugar Free Jello
Fudgesicles - no sugar added
Sugar Free Soda (something with caffeine)
Diet Snapple Peach Tea (OMG, can't live without it)
Crystal Light
Sugar Free Gum

South Beach Diet: the Glycemic Index and other pseudo-science mumbo jumbo

You might remember the big South Beach Diet fad of the mid-2000's. Thrown in the lot with other "low-carb" diets like Atkins, I think a lot of people really abused it as a crash diet or misunderstood what South Beach is all about. I'll try to clarify.

South Beach is not truly a low-carb diet. Yes, for the first phase, you must cut out carbs completely. But hey, you get them back after only a few weeks.
The diet is actually about the "Glycemic Index", a measurement of how a food affects your blood sugar. For example, a potato is about as bad as it gets. With a Glycemic Index of 158, it's going to hit your blood sugar like a slug to your chest ("Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex"..nothing? Tupac? Common people). What I mean is, you're going to get a sharp blood sugar spike. The downside? That spike is followed by a sharp drop-off, and pretty soon you're tired and hungry again. It simply doesn't stick with you.

You know how it feels. You eat that packet of skittles, and within an hour you're not only coming down off your sugar high, but you're also starving.

A diet rich in simple sugars and "bad" carbohydrates (like those in the evil potato) is going to result in oscillating blood sugar. Up and down, where the ups are periods of high energy followed by deep valleys of lethargy and hunger. Furthermore, your body isn't making use of its reserves of fat. In fact, what with all that excess blood sugar, your body just packs it away. No bueno.

Enter the South Beach Diet. It's all about regulating blood sugar and "teaching" your body to process its food wisely. To do so, we first eat foods with low glycemic indexes. If we choose to eat a food with a higher glycemic index, we pair it with an oil or healthy fat to slow digestion. It's all an effort to prolong the release of that energy and prevent a blood sugar spike.

That's the theory anyway. Is it scientifically accurate? Eh, to a point. There's no way you can convince me that throwing some sour cream on your baked potato will actually make it healthier, because you're slowing its digestion with that dairy fat. But largely it makes sense.

I also know that it works for me. After a few days (at least after the initial blood sugar fall out, more on that later), I feel better and have better, long-lasting energy. The weight loss isn't usually drastic for me - about 5 pounds - but the difference in how I feel is remarkable. Which is just fine. I only want to drop that 5 pounds of pizza and ice cream I packed on during final exams, and mostly want to reclaim that all-day stamina I used to have.

Prepping for South Beach

The fridge is stocked. Operation Cookie Monster commences tomorrow.

Birthday/Graduation Weekend

I had so much fun this weekend. Between shouting "Mothaf***in' snakes on a mothaf***in' plane!" at the movie screen and basically chugging my last Four Loko...well, it was fun, girls.

So I'll just summarize.

BEFORE:















AFTER:















You're welcome.

OMG, I need an intervention

Dinner: Entenmann's black & white cookies, coconut M&Ms, and probably an enormous helping of yesterday's homemade chicken n' dumplins. Uh oh.

I need help. I don't even want to know what kind of weight I've put on in the past 2 weeks. Between the idle lifestyle of final exams and uninhibited froyo & cookie binging...well, surely it's significant. So after one weekend of outrageous shenanigans (I am not responsible for anything I say or do between now and Monday, ok?), I'ma start taking care of myself again. Why wait until next week? Cuz it's my burfday! And my graduationz! I'd be crazy not to party. So, hello, Four Loko.


That's my cousin, Eric. He's a pilot in the air force and an all-around badass. If my birthday/graduation weekend is half this epic, I'll be proud.

Starting Monday, it's back to real life. I have a 2-prong attack. Let's call it Operation Cookie Monster.

1) South Beach Diet. I've been a long-time proponent of South Beach. It's not for every one - if you love your carbs, it's not for you. However, my diet usually centers around lean meats and fruits anyway. So cutting out the fruit and replacing it with fresh veggies is no biggie. It also forces me to abandon the sweets, which is my achilles heal, and flesh out my meals with lean protein and fresh produce. I feel better, my skin clears up, and it gets me back on track eating right. It also gets the cookie cravings under control. Mmm...cookies.

2) Weights. The CRC closes for a week for repairs. Oh, no! Actually, maybe that's not so bad. Admittedly, the first week of South Beach diet is a challenge. You don't have those carbs to power you, so your energy is low and it'd be really difficult to get through a high-intensity cardio workout. You also have to be careful to not drop muscle on South Beach. Instead of my usual cardio/toning combination, I'm going to be do weight-focused workouts from home. This way I can combat that muscle loss while avoiding the cardio exhaustion.

Somewhat Lazy Sunday

Wow, what a great day. I slept until...wait for it...1 o'clock. Then I moved all my books, knick knacks and clothes into my new Ikea dresser and book case. Look, aren't they beautiful? Isn't Isaac the best for helping me pick them up?


Then I skipped on over to the gym and put down an awesome workout. I walked 1 mile on an ever-increasing incline, up to 10%. Then I leveled it back out and jogged a mile. Then I alternated 30 second sprints with 1 minute jogs for another 1.5 miles. I wasn't really too winded, but I really enjoyed doing it.
After that treadmill session, I did a back/arms & shoulders/abs workout. I just kept circulating between the assisted pull-up machine, the weights station and the mats.
All told, I was at the gym for about 2 hours.
I was also starving. At home I blended a banana-peach protein shake while I mixed up a lemon-dijon marinade for a skirt steak. Let it marinate for about 40 min while I showered and cleaned up, then seared that slab-o-meat in my French oven. With a little walnut & spinach salad...delicious!
Did I get any studying done today? Well, no. But it was worth it.

Still 2 weeks left, remember?

That'll teach me to check out early. I did a fantastically mediocre job on my cell bio test today, after putting in a equally mediocre study effort. After all, I've scored a 111 and a 107 on the last 2 tests, so this one? Ehhhhh, whateverrrrr. Well, that'll teach me. The professor went over the test immediately after we all turned it in, and I kept thinking "Huh, missed that one. That one too. Well, at least I got the next one right - oops, spoke too soon." I'd say I learned my lesson, but it's the last test I'll ever take in my regular season college career, so who cares?
Sadly, I do still have finals. You know, the semester post-season.

After shrugging off my poor test performance, I tootled over to the gym. I had an hour and a half to burn before spin class, so I went a little crazy on the weights. Arms & Shoulders, yeeeeeaaaah buddy.

I've also discovered my new favorite machine: The assisted chin/pull-up machine. I'm not quite strong enough to do a chin-up or pull-up by myself (which is maddening), so this machine is a fantastic place to start. It provides a weighted platform that you kneel on, so you don't have to lift your full body weight. Brilliant! I'm a big fan. I've had my eye on it for a while, but finally got the gumption to approach it this week. Yay for checking off "Something New" from my weekly progress menu!
Right now, it's the main focus of the "back" portion of my Back & Legs workout, but I'm also going to incorporate it into Arms & Shoulders. With enough work, I might be able to work up to a chin-up or pull-up all by myself! Imagine that.

Dog & Pony Show, No Dogs Allowed

Here's a short video of Tucker and me doing the really big jumps. Actually, they're tiny, but he's so much fun, that I enjoy doing just about anything with him! We were at a clinic with Don Stewart, a very successful and famous trainer. Mr. Stewart gave us this exercise to practice extending and shortening our horse's stride - it was awesome!

Hell Week

This week marks my last truly bad week of studying, because I fear not Finals Week. No seriously, Finals Week is manageable. For one, the tests are cumulative, so I already know it. Two, I have an entire week prior to prepare, without any assignments are other irritating interruptions. Three, there's that light at the end of the tunnel that always powers me through. So yeah, Finals Week? Eff you, Finals Week. You don't know me! You. Don't. Know. Me. What!
But like I said, this week was bad. Even though I only had two exams and one homework assignment (well, one monster homework assignment), I had a hard time fitting it in between my two part-time jobs, doctor's appointments, job searches, etc. Too many things going on. But now it's done.
Well, almost done. I'm looking over at my Weekly Progress menu and thinking to myself, "Self, you're a fat slacker. You've still got 2 cardio workouts and 2 toning workouts and that Yoga X that you love so much. Oh, and two days to do it in."

BRING IT