The Magical Fruit

Without conjuring any dirty rhymes, I'll just say that beans are awesome. They're particularly awesome on South Beach Diet, where it's very hard to find foods that are genuinely filling.

GREEN CHICKEN CHILI - This recipe is actually one that I frequently make anyway, and just happens to be South Beach-friendly. It has a bright flavor with a bit of kick, and best of all, is super-healthy without sacrificing any flavor.
- 3 lb bone-in, skin-on split chicken breasts
- vegetable oil
- salt and pepper
- 3 poblano peppers
- 3 Anaheim peppers
- 2 jalapeno peppers
- 2 onions, chopped
- 6 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 Tb ground cumin
- 1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
- 2 (15 oz) cans cannelini beans (white kidney beans), drained & rinsed
- 32 oz low-sodium chicken broth
- 1/4 C fresh cilantro, minced
- 4 scallions, sliced thin
-3 Tb fresh lime juice

1. Season chicken with salt and peppers. Heat 2 Tb oil in a large French oven or stock pot over medium-high heat. Brown chicken, skin side down, until deep golden, ~ 6 min. Set aside. Remove skins.
2. In batches, pulse chilies in a food processor to consistency of chunky salsa.
3. Add 1 tb oil to pot. Add chilies, onions, garlic, cumin, coriander, and 1 tsp salt. Cook, stirring often, until veggies are softened, ~10 min.
4. Transfer 1 C of cooked veggies mixture to food processor. Add 1 C beans and 1 C broth. Process until smooth. Return to pot.
5. Add remaining 3 C broth. Return chicken to pot. Cover & simmer until chicken registers 160 degrees F, 10-15 min. Remove chicken and shred it.
6. Stir in remaining beans. Simmer until heated through, ~5 min.
7. Stir in shredded chicken. Summer until thickened, ~15 min.
8. Stir in cilantro, scallions, & lime juice. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

FAUX BROWNIES - Yes, I said it. Fake brownies. No flour, no sugar, no chocolate chips. Just moist, chocolaty, nutty goodness. Do they taste as good as real brownies? Hello no! But you know what, they're a welcome bit of chocolate and fluffiness in an otherwise barren menu of veggies and meats. The original recipe called for olive oil, which lended a decidedly unpleasant flavor of minerals, or Italy, or something weird and unwanted. I figured 2 Tb of butter weren't going to kill me.
- 1 can (15.5 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 4 large eggs
- 2 Tb melted unsalted butter
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 C Splenda
- 3 Tb unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- chopped walnuts or pecans

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease an 8x8" baking pan.
2. In a blender or food processor, combine the beans, eggs, butter, vanilla, Splenda, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt. Process until smooth.
3. Scrape the batter into the pan. Sprinkle nuts on top. Bake for 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Serve warm with Faux Whipped Topping.










FAUX WHIPPED TOPPING - I've become a stark raving fan of Greek yogurt. Buyer beware: different brands have decidedly different qualities. So far, Chobani is my favorite, but Kroger also makes a thick, delicious Greek yogurt. Surprisingly, the "Greek" brand was absolutely terrible.
- Big healthy dollop of plain, nonfat Greek yogurt
- Splenda to taste
- Vanilla extract to taste

1. Just mix it all together, and spoon onto your Faux Brownie. Then smile at all the calories, fat, and carbs you've cut.

Grocery List

Wondering what kinds of foods I can eat on South Beach? Well, it changes. The Diet consists of 3 phases:

1. Phase I - Super Strict. Lean meats, vegetables, and low-fat dairy are permitted, but any carbohydrates and sugars are out of the question. So no bread, pasta, starchy veggies, or fruits. Cookies? Psh, fuh-get about it. Life is tough. Luckily, Phase I only lasts 2 weeks, although I'm aiming for 12 days.
2. Phase II - We get some of the good stuff back. Natural sugars and complex carbohydrates are now OK, so we can eat fresh fruit and whole grains.
3. Phase III - This is the life phase. Pretty much anything goes, so long as it doesn't undo everything you've worked for in the previous 2 phases.

Now to share my grocery list for Phase I. Recipes coming soon!

VEGGIES:
Celery
Cherry Tomatoes
Large tomatoes
Snap Peas
Red & Green Bell Peppers
Poblano Peppers
Anaheim Peppers
Jalapeno Peppers
Romaine
Scallions
Jicama
Ginger
Garlic
Basil
Cilantro
Cannellini Beans
Frozen Artichoke Hearts
Frozen Spinach

MEAT
Canadian Bacon
Turkey Deli Meat
Flank Steak
Split Chicken Breasts

DAIRY:
Cheddar - low fat
Colby - low fat
Muenster slices
Blue cheese - low fat, crumbled
Ricotta - low fat
Cottage Cheese - nonfat
Greek yogurt - nonfat plain
string cheese - part skim
Laughing Cow Light Cheese Spread
Skim Milk
Eggs
Egg Beaters (egg substitute)

MISC
Water Chestnuts
Peanuts
Pistachios
Chicken Broth (LOTS of it)

LIFE-SAVERS
Splenda
Sugar Free Jello
Fudgesicles - no sugar added
Sugar Free Soda (something with caffeine)
Diet Snapple Peach Tea (OMG, can't live without it)
Crystal Light
Sugar Free Gum

South Beach Diet: the Glycemic Index and other pseudo-science mumbo jumbo

You might remember the big South Beach Diet fad of the mid-2000's. Thrown in the lot with other "low-carb" diets like Atkins, I think a lot of people really abused it as a crash diet or misunderstood what South Beach is all about. I'll try to clarify.

South Beach is not truly a low-carb diet. Yes, for the first phase, you must cut out carbs completely. But hey, you get them back after only a few weeks.
The diet is actually about the "Glycemic Index", a measurement of how a food affects your blood sugar. For example, a potato is about as bad as it gets. With a Glycemic Index of 158, it's going to hit your blood sugar like a slug to your chest ("Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex"..nothing? Tupac? Common people). What I mean is, you're going to get a sharp blood sugar spike. The downside? That spike is followed by a sharp drop-off, and pretty soon you're tired and hungry again. It simply doesn't stick with you.

You know how it feels. You eat that packet of skittles, and within an hour you're not only coming down off your sugar high, but you're also starving.

A diet rich in simple sugars and "bad" carbohydrates (like those in the evil potato) is going to result in oscillating blood sugar. Up and down, where the ups are periods of high energy followed by deep valleys of lethargy and hunger. Furthermore, your body isn't making use of its reserves of fat. In fact, what with all that excess blood sugar, your body just packs it away. No bueno.

Enter the South Beach Diet. It's all about regulating blood sugar and "teaching" your body to process its food wisely. To do so, we first eat foods with low glycemic indexes. If we choose to eat a food with a higher glycemic index, we pair it with an oil or healthy fat to slow digestion. It's all an effort to prolong the release of that energy and prevent a blood sugar spike.

That's the theory anyway. Is it scientifically accurate? Eh, to a point. There's no way you can convince me that throwing some sour cream on your baked potato will actually make it healthier, because you're slowing its digestion with that dairy fat. But largely it makes sense.

I also know that it works for me. After a few days (at least after the initial blood sugar fall out, more on that later), I feel better and have better, long-lasting energy. The weight loss isn't usually drastic for me - about 5 pounds - but the difference in how I feel is remarkable. Which is just fine. I only want to drop that 5 pounds of pizza and ice cream I packed on during final exams, and mostly want to reclaim that all-day stamina I used to have.

Prepping for South Beach

The fridge is stocked. Operation Cookie Monster commences tomorrow.

Birthday/Graduation Weekend

I had so much fun this weekend. Between shouting "Mothaf***in' snakes on a mothaf***in' plane!" at the movie screen and basically chugging my last Four Loko...well, it was fun, girls.

So I'll just summarize.

BEFORE:















AFTER:















You're welcome.

OMG, I need an intervention

Dinner: Entenmann's black & white cookies, coconut M&Ms, and probably an enormous helping of yesterday's homemade chicken n' dumplins. Uh oh.

I need help. I don't even want to know what kind of weight I've put on in the past 2 weeks. Between the idle lifestyle of final exams and uninhibited froyo & cookie binging...well, surely it's significant. So after one weekend of outrageous shenanigans (I am not responsible for anything I say or do between now and Monday, ok?), I'ma start taking care of myself again. Why wait until next week? Cuz it's my burfday! And my graduationz! I'd be crazy not to party. So, hello, Four Loko.


That's my cousin, Eric. He's a pilot in the air force and an all-around badass. If my birthday/graduation weekend is half this epic, I'll be proud.

Starting Monday, it's back to real life. I have a 2-prong attack. Let's call it Operation Cookie Monster.

1) South Beach Diet. I've been a long-time proponent of South Beach. It's not for every one - if you love your carbs, it's not for you. However, my diet usually centers around lean meats and fruits anyway. So cutting out the fruit and replacing it with fresh veggies is no biggie. It also forces me to abandon the sweets, which is my achilles heal, and flesh out my meals with lean protein and fresh produce. I feel better, my skin clears up, and it gets me back on track eating right. It also gets the cookie cravings under control. Mmm...cookies.

2) Weights. The CRC closes for a week for repairs. Oh, no! Actually, maybe that's not so bad. Admittedly, the first week of South Beach diet is a challenge. You don't have those carbs to power you, so your energy is low and it'd be really difficult to get through a high-intensity cardio workout. You also have to be careful to not drop muscle on South Beach. Instead of my usual cardio/toning combination, I'm going to be do weight-focused workouts from home. This way I can combat that muscle loss while avoiding the cardio exhaustion.